Children's Needs

 It is very easy to look over the needs of children and their cries for help. According to Michael Popkin, the main job of parents is to protect and prepare their children for the real world and when they are officially on their own. I strongly believe in this statement, because I've lived it. In other parents' eyes, my parents may have appeared strict, but it comes back to different cultures and different lifestyles. My father lived in a dysfunctional home, he wanted to avoid things that happened in his own home that would later leave a long-lasting effect on himself and his sisters, from happening to me. For example, I was only allowed to sleep over at family friends' homes such as members of the church that we have known all of our lives, compared to not sleeping over at a friend's house that they have never met. Was I frustrated and jealous that I couldn't go to school sleepovers? The answer is yes, who wouldn't be, but they always offered to take me back the next morning if they were going to have day plans. This may seem a little outrageous to some families but I have grown a great appreciation for my parents. My parents and I are very close, I can go to them for advice and they have given me a lot of freedom because of this. We both trust each other. How do you expect to have a strong relationship with your children if you do not have trust? I have friends who will still have to report to their parents even though we are in completely different states. The parents had this sense of control over their children when they were back home and now that they are in college, they are freaking out about losing control over their children. It all goes back to parenting. In defense of the parents, they did not have a normal childhood by any means, but then again, parents can take responsibility for their own actions and can change the habits that were happening in their family for the own benefit of their own families. For this to happen, parents can teach their children that they have the ability to make age and situation appropriate choices to them that they are trusted. It could be simple as letting them choose a shirt to wear or what book they want to read. This will be able to teach them that the choices they make have an influence on their lives and how their choices can have consequences, good or bad. For example. if they want to play with their toys, they have to pick them up afterward, everyone has responsibilities in the families, and so do they no matter what their age may be. This will also let them know that they have a place in the family. Giving each individual child attention will only benefit them. We have all met or known a kid that was a little rambunctious at some point in our lives, and it is no lie that some it was because of the lack of attention that they were receiving in their lives. Any sort of attention will benefit your children. A simple hug holds a lot more power than people think. Physical touch is needed for young lives and it will be able to comfort them and give them the attention that is needed in order to survive. Talking to them about their day or goals will also benefit them. Knowing that you care will make you feel included and not force them to seek attention in negative ways. This can have a long-lasting effect on children even if you think that they do not need any extra attention. I have friends from back home who will call me crying just wanting to talk to someone because they feel like they can't even talk to their own parents. She will cry to me about just wanting a single hug from her own father. As future or current parents, we can make sure to have a loving relationship with our kids that will be able to benefit them and prepare them to survive on their own. A loving and nurturing relationship is what we all want from our parents and we hold the power to make that possible with our own families.